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Long Distance Relationships: Pointless or Worthwhile?
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By: rachydawg17
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You hear it all the time. Long distance relationships don't work.
They're meaningless; a waste of time. This is where I have to
disagree.
January 2, 2004. That is the day that my life changed forever. I was
talking to a friend that I met on the forums. She kept mentioning a
girl that she was friends with. Jaime (thenewme). Later that day, I
took the liberty of tagging her to get to know her. After a few
minutes of tagging, we decided to talk on AIM. We instantly bonded. I
thought she was an awesome person. We talked for hours; until around
3:30 am. After only a few days of talking, I already considered her my
best friend. I could talk to this girl about anything. I had never met
anybody like her.
We started writing each other letters. She told me that I'm the first
person she's ever clicked with right away; online or off. She also
told me that she considered me her best friend. I realized soon after
that I had started to develop stronger feelings for her than
friendship. We were so close. The problem was that I had a girlfriend.
I started seeing all the problems in our relationship. I had my mind
focused on Jaime. I knew in my heart she was the one I wanted to be
with. In one letter, she told me that she thought she was falling for
me. I wrote her back and told her that I thought I was falling for her
as well.
One night we were talking on AIM and she hadn't received the letter. I
told her that I had something I wanted to say but I wasn't sure if I
should. She told me to just say it. I stalled for awhile and I finally
told her that the letter had said that I was falling for her, but I
already had fallen. I knew without a doubt that I loved this girl. She
was everything I could ever want. As soon as I told her that I loved
her, I got somewhat scared although I did expect her to tell me she
loved me too. I was wrong. She said she cared a lot about me but she
wasn't sure she loved me. I sat there regretting saying it to her but
I also knew that I had to. I wanted her to know how I felt.
The next day, she told me that she had thought a lot about things the
previous night and that day. She said she realized that she loved me.
That was the most amazing feeling I had ever felt. This person that
was so sweet, so caring, so genuine...loved me. Me, of all people. At
the time, I was still with my girlfriend. I knew I had to break up
with her. On March 12, 2004, I broke up with her. Soon after, Jaime
got online. I told her what I had done and we were both shying away
from the topic of us. I finally asked her if she wanted to wait to be
together. She said no so I gathered all of my courage and asked her to
be with me. She, of course, said yes and we were ecstatic for quite
some time.
From the beginning, our relationship was amazing. We fell more in love
each and every day. We never fought. Later on, we'd get irritable with
each other but it never lasted over a few minutes. Even to this day,
we've never fought about anything.
Her mother saw our relationship escalating. She began to basically
loathe me. She tried to keep Jaime off of the computer. She told her
that she shouldn't be 'obsessed' with someone so far away. I know she
wanted us to break up. She said that Jaime was wasting her life on me.
She talked to me online and once told me that I was disrespectful and
inappropriate because I had pasted our conversation to Jaime. Anything
that would make her hate me more always came into play. She finally
told Jaime that she was jealous of me because Jaime spends so much
time talking to me. She still tried to get Jaime not to talk to me.
Finally she found a way to take the modem away from Jaime for weeks.
Jaime told her that we don't talk anymore so she's laid off a bit.
Over the time of Jaime not having the modem, she was hurting. The
distance between us was hurting her. I was keeping her from doing her
schoolwork because her mind was always on me. She couldn't
concentrate. At the beginning of November, she broke up with me. That
night, I cried so much for quite awhile. I finally calmed down and
Jaime and I talked the next day. She said we could continue to be
friends. That made me happy. I wasn't hurting quite as bad as long as
she was still in my life. We talked either later that day or the next
day when she was at her friends house. We were acting like we had
while we were together. I asked her what we were. She said friends.
She couldn't be with me. She felt so tied down being with me. I
respected that. I didnt push her. We continued to act the same.
A few days later, she was at her dads house. That day would've been 8
months for us being together. She said that she had remembered what
that day 'was' and I said it still counted because we were still in
love. I didnt tell her how bad I wanted to be with her again. The next
day, we were talking and the friend that we met through was talking to
me. I showed her something Jaime said and she asked why she wouldn't
just ask me out again. I brought up to Jaime the fact that I had
wanted us to be together so bad the previous day but I was fine
because we were the same. She asked, "Would you be mine?" I made sure
that she was positive and she said yes because she loves me and so
November 13, 2004, marked the day that we were together again. That
night, we realized how much stronger our relationship was. We were
even more in love. Our bond was so much stronger.
Since that day, our relationship is still getting stronger and
stronger. We have our problems but what couple doesn't? We know how
much we love each other. She knows I'll never leave her and I know
she'll never leave me again. We both hurt too much to lose each other
again. We realized how much we really do love each other. We've
already made it through so much in our relationship. She's such an
understanding person. We can handle anything that gets thrown at us.
Yes, we are young. We're both 16. Our mentality is more mature though.
We've both changed each other so much and have become so much more
mature. We're willing to endure anything to make this relationship
continue to be strong.
The summer of 2006, I will be moving to Minnesota to be with her.
She'll have one more year of high school and I'll be taking a year off
to work. We'll start college the following fall together. We're
already looking into colleges that would work for the both of us.
Basically, my point is this. Long distance relationships are hard
work. You endure pain and longing and loneliness. In the end, it's
worth it. It's no different than a regular relationship except the
fact that there's no physical side to it. If you can endure
everything, you can make it through and get to the point where you can
have every aspect of the relationship. You can be together in person.
The relationship will be so strong once you get to that point. In my
experience, it has been worth every single thing I have put into it. I
have met the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I
have found true love and anyone who tells me different will be proven
wrong. I have no doubts about our relationship. I know we will be
together. Our love is amazing. I hope every one of you can find the
kind of love that I have found. I hope that you can have all the
happiness that I have felt for the past almost 11 months. Long
distance relationships can be very worthwhile.
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