Once I was old enough to understand what gay meant, I realized that my aunt must be a lesbian.
At first I just took this new found information for granted and didn't think much of it. Then as I grew older and I started to understand how the society around me felt about this group of people, I become uncomfortable around my aunt and her roommate. Deep down I was always worried that I would also become a lesbian so I had to always have some guy that I had a crush on. That was pretty much the basis of my existence.
It wasn't until a couple months ago that I become comfortable with liking both girls and boys. I think that the one thing that prohibited me for so long from feeling comfortable with myself is the fact that my religion condemns all gays. I was taught that homosexuals will without a doubt go to Hell after they die. I was hoping that something in me would just snap out of it and I would go to just liking guys. Once I figured out that this wasn't going to happen anytime soon, I decided to become a nun. I figured that I would rather die a virgin than enjoy myself in this life and burn for all eternity. That does sound rather abysmal.
Then I met Jason. He is great! He completely accepts every little weird thing about me. All of the kinky stuff I am into and the fact that I am bi. That last one by the way really turns him on! So not only have I found someone who loves me no matter what kind of mood I am in but he also doesn't mind having threesomes. I am so glad that he doesn't mind sharing me with another girl!
I still go to church every week, and I pray to the Lord. I just don't believe some of the ideas the church has about sex, like what is allowed and what is not.
