 |
Web Community and Resources for
Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Questioning
College Students, High School Students, and teens. |
|
|
|
|
|
Tim
|
|
By: Tim
|
|
|
|
Talk about this article
|
|
Read feedback (1)
|
|
|
Where to start.....
At 16, I fell madly in love with a boy a couple
of years younger than myself. About a year later,
and for over 3 years, we began sharing some most
intimate times together. As he turned 17, he
began to redirect his attentions to others, girls
especially. I was devastated. We stayed friends
though. After we talked it all over several
times, I came to appreciate that I could do
nothing but drive a wedge between us if I pursued
our former relationship. I so desparately wanted
to hang on to him, if not as a lover, as a
friend. I remained depressed over losing him as a
lover for several years but tried my hardest not
to let him know how bad I felt. Although he could
not express it, he knew.
Ten years later, I married the princess of all
princesses. We had a child, a boy. I told her of
my former love and she accepted it fully. My son
does not know. She died in 1992 at 38 when my son
was 13. Next week, my son will complete his first
year away at college.
After all these years, I still hold a special
place in my heart for my first love, even though
he moved a continent away and he himself married.
I never really came out. I told a few of my
friends from high school when we entered college
and they took it well, but I maintained
a "straightness" in their presence. I never
really felt compelled to come out. To me, I was
not on any crusade. I did not feel, as some will
say, that I was living a lie. My sexual
preference is a personal matter between me and
whoever my lover might be.
Yes, many years have gone by, I have loved and
lost, I shared a rich marriage and had a child,
but I still yearn for the warm comfort of a young
man in my arms, in my bed. On occasion, I have
been able to experience that through the years. I
have no regrets for the life I have led. I have
only two deeply sad rememberences: Losing Doug
and losing Candy.
I guess my point is, every gay guy does not have
to come out; every gay guy does not have to stay
closeted; every gay guy does not have to wind up
turning to suicide for relief. We all must find
our own satisfactory way of playing the cards we
were dealt. In the end, its not the cards, but
how we play them that counts.
Oh, and never forget, the taunting cheerleaders
are not in the game, they are merely bystanders
to be ignored.
|
|
|
|
coming out
|
|
|
|
|
|
Attention college and high school newspaper writers!!!
|
|
We are always looking for more high quality articles. Please post your submissions here.
|
|
Make sure you choose the category "gsc" or "coming out" or your article will not show on Gay Student Center.
|
|
|
|
