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Almost Clichéd
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By: Myth_Drannor
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I know I'm gonna sound Clichéd, but from the age
of seven I knew I was different from everybody
else. A lot of my friends were girls, and I had
no problem playing with dolls. At age eleven, I
experienced my first same sex encounter.
It wasn't really until I was twelve that I
realized that what I was doing was different from
what everybody else was. From age twelve to
fifteen I was in complete denial about my
sexuality. I was trying to will myself to
be "Normal." It wasn't until I was 16 that I
really accepted who I am. I was still in the
closet at that stage. I wanted so desperately to
rid myself of this stupid image that I was
pushing out. It might have looked like I was
happy and content but in reality, I was miserable
and hated myself for being "Different", for being
bisexual. For almost a whole year I kept this
feeling hidden. But it was so hard to do. It was
like a black shapeless void that would swallow me
whole,only to spit me back out. One of the times
it did that was at lunch at school. I got all
cynical and nasty to everyone and then I stormed
off to History. Everyone asked me what was wrong
and I kept pushing them away. So I turned to the
only thing that stopped me from hurting others or
myself; Poetry.
Poetry was my savior in my darkest hours..I would
wake up in the middle of the night to write
poems. Anyway my best friend Matt saw me writing
my poems in tiny writing. "They are tiny so only
I can read them now go away" I told him after he
asked why it was so small. As soon as I got home
I rang him to apologize for being rude when all
he was doing was trying to help. The next day I
gave him a copy of what I was writing. Two days
later I had to tell him, and I did.
Things were uncomfortable for about a week. He
told me not to worry about it and that everything
was okay between us. My other friend Matt asked
if I was gay through a text message. I talked to
him in Maths and said I was Bisexual. He was
completely okay with it.
Telling some of my friends made it much easier to
live with myself because I know that if I'm going
through a rough time I can count on them. My
advice to everyone would be to always be true to
yourself, and that your friends, your true
friends will always accept you no matter what.
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gsc
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