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boys will be boys
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By: lost in the shuffle
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Talk about this article
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Read feedback (2)
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You're not alone, never really alone. I'm 33 now.
I had a "best friend" through Junior High and
High School and we sort of discovered sex
together. It started simple with touching and
exploring and progressed to semi-regular sleep-
overs. I was always more interested in having sex
with him. He went along with it and yet, enjoyed
it. Somewhere about the age of seventeen or
eighteen my friend decided that dating women was
cool. He was starting to fill out as well as
become more athletic and social. I remember being
crushed and devastated when he said that he
didn't want to continue our sleep-overs. In fact
he told me this during a sleep-over. He pushed my
hands away and told me he didn't want to do
this anymore. I don't think I quite
suffered what you're going through, because I
didn't come out as a teen. I just assumed that
what he and I had experienced was just "Boys
playing around." I dated girls, had sex with
girls and enjoyed it, but also I was hot for
guys. There are many stories in between, believe
me.
I have been married to a woman for a couple of
years. I'm now divorced and dealing with
being "gay" and accepting a my own being gay. If
you can believe it, it's not much easier coming
out as an adult. My family knows and my parent's
don't deal too well with it, but they still love
me. My sister (4 years younger) has been really
good with it. I've told my best friends and many
close friends. I've lost a couple who have
stopped contacting me (perhaps cause I came out,
perhaps not.) Life goes on.
The whole point to this story... Even though my
friend and I never had sexual relations again
(Lord knows I tried and wanted to desperately)
and we went through some rough times, we stayed
best friends. I was the Best Man at his wedding
and He was best man at mine. We've talked a
little in recent years about what we did as kids.
It had been a forbidden topic for a while. He
admits that he still has mild feelings for guys,
but not to the level where he'd risk his family
and status to go be with a guy. There are levels
to being gay and levels to people accepting it.
If you nurture a friendship, over time the lust
and cravings toward that person will fade and the
friendship will endure and grow.
Being honest with peopleis always the best.
Though myself, I don't like the "in your face"
honesty of Pride parades and rainbow stickers
either. Be yourself. Reach for your goals, your
schooling and your career. Along the way carry
your friends with you, make new ones, and lose
some. You will have loves, you will lose some.
There will be joys and pains. That is the price
of being human, regardless of your sexual
orientation.
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gsc
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