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Web Community and Resources for
Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Questioning
College Students, High School Students, and teens. |
GLBT Frequently Asked Questions
By XxCheshireCatoX and Silent_Sovereign
- What is homosexuality?
Homosexuality is when a person has sexual and romantic feelings toward the same sex, and only the same sex.
- What is bisexuality?
Bisexuality is when a person is romantically and sexually attracted to both men and women.
- What are transsexuals?
Transsexuals are people who feel their body and their brain are mismatched, and that they really should be the opposite sex. They feel completely out of place and that their gender is wrong for them. Sometimes, in order to accommodate their feelings, transsexuals undergo surgery and medical treatment, thus enabling them match their bodies with their minds.
- What is homophobia?
Homophobia is defined as hateful and or fearful feelings toward people who are Gay/Les/Bi. Homophobia is something that is a big issue today, and unfortunately, it is something that is still widespread. Someday, hopefully the gay community will be able to vanquish these hateful thoughts.
- How do I know if I am Gay/Les/Bi?
No one can tell you what your sexual orientation is, even if they think that they can. It is something that you, and only you, are aware of. If you think you are gay or lesbian, than you are only attracted to members of your sex, and none of the opposite sex. If you think that you are bisexual, then you have feelings, in some degree, for both the male and female sexes. If you do not think that your feelings are permanent, it is possible that it is either curiosity or just sexual frustration. In some cases, there feelings are just a temporary phase that most people go through at one time or another, whether they will admit it or not. If you want to try and bring some validation to your feelings, you may want to find either a close friend or someone trustworthy who is open about their sexuality. The only words of advice that can be offered are these: do not worry about labeling yourself, it can only bring trouble. You don't have to know exactly what you are, there is a whole life ahead of you to learn that. Your sexuality is your own. Be comfortable with yourself and know your true feelings before you label yourself.
- How can I tell if someone is Gay/Les/Bi?
There is no surefire way of being able to tell is someone is gay, lesbian, or bisexual. Most people will bring up the topic of 'gaydar.' This is not a reliable way to tell if someone is of an alternative sexuality. It is often only 'reliable' in completely random cases. Another thing that some people will use to judge if someone is of an alternative sexuality is mannerisms. A mannerism is a particular style or way that something is done. Common mannerisms for homosexual males are a lisp (the "gay accent" or feminine voice), the stereotypical limp wrist, and other general things, sometimes even a walk. Though some of these apply to some homosexuals, it is not a definite way to determine anything. Rumors are often untrue and have no basis in reality, so you should never trust what you hear. The only remotely reliable way to tell is someone is gay, lesbian, or bisexual is to ask them. This is a very hard thing for the asked person to answer, in most cases. Generally, they will not openly admit to it unless they are either confident and comfortable with their sexuality, or trust you when you ask them. To improve your chances of receiving an honest answer, you should become friends with the person in question. After gaining their trust, then ask them casually.
- I really like someone, but I am sure that they are straight. What do I do?
Unfortunately, this is something that most homosexual or bisexual people have had to deal with at one time or another. Before you totally give up, make sure that they are straight (see the previous question). You never know, right? If this is someone close to you, it is probably best to keep quiet how you feel, for your own sake. If they are straight, this will most likely not turn out well. The best thing that you can do in this situation is to move on. This is a hard situation to deal with. Over time, you will be able to focus on someone who is attainable and someone who will love you back.
- I am looking to meet someone in my area. How can I do this?
Here are some widely used teen dating sites:
www.xy.com
www.mogenic.com
www.planetout.com
www.loveacess.com
In addition, try looking in your phone book for local gay youth programs and clubs. These are an excellent way to meet people. Also, try joining the GSA at your school or college.
- People at school are ridiculing me for being Gay/Les/Bi. How can I stop this?
Ridicule from peers is something that most teenagers with an alternative sexuality will face. In some cases, the person being tormented about being a "fag" may not actually be gay, but that does not matter to the bully. If you are being bothered about your (supposed) sexuality, then you should bring it to the attention of either a teacher, guidance counselor, or even a principal at your school. There are rules that protect against harassment and discrimination based on sexual orientation. If that fails, then you will need to bring that situation to the attention of your parents. You may have to change schools and or take legal action if the taunting is not properly handled by your school.
- How can I start a GSA (Gay Straight Alliance) at my school?
GLSEN, a GLB organization, has an excellent article on how to go about this. The address is: http://www.glsen.org/templates/student/record.html?section=107&record=18
- I have heard that Gay/Les/Bi people are promiscuous and participate in risky behavior. Is this true?
This is simply just a common and blatantly ignorant misconception. Gay/Les/Bi people are no more likely to be sexually promiscuous or engage in risky behavior than are heterosexual people.
- Is homosexuality a disease? Is there something wrong with me?
Homosexuality is not a disease, and is perfectly normal. At one time, homosexuality was listed on the DSM-IV, which is a widely used system for classifying psychological disorders by psychologists. However, upon closer examination of homosexuality, it was removed from the list in 1973. Therefore, it is NOT a disease.
- How do Gay/Les/Bi people have sex?
Gay/bi men can perform anal sex, oral sex, and mutual masturbation. Sometimes, if they choose, they use sex toys. Lesbian/bi woman perform oral sex and mutual masturbation on one another. Sex toys, namely dildos, are also used by some Lesbian/bi women.
- How can I protect myself from STD’s?
Protecting yourself is pretty much the same deal when you are with someone of the same sex. This cannot be stressed enough: ALWAYS use a condom. Also, when performing oral sex, dental dams are something that should be used, for further protection.
In addition, be sure to discuss your sexual history with you current partner.
Be sure and get tested, as well, and be safe.
- I want to experiment with the same sex. Does this make me gay?
Wanting to experiment with the same sex doesn’t necessarily make someone gay or bisexual; it just makes them curious, which there is nothing wrong with. Some people experiment with the same sex only to find out later that it isn’t for them, and that they are indeed straight. It’s not whether you feel the urge to experiment. It’s whether you experiment and like it.
- Do Gays and Lesbians hate the opposite sex?
An overwhelming majority of Gays and Lesbians, contrary to popular opinion, do not hate the opposite sex. They just simply cannot be in a relationship with the opposite sex because they aren’t attracted to them. Actually, many gay and lesbian people find that members of the opposite sex make better friends for them.
- What is the deal with Bisexuals? Why can’t they just choose?
Bisexuals are just people who are attracted to both sexes. It is unfair to ask them to choose, when in reality, they can’t because it would be denying their feelings. It is equally unfair to say that all bisexuals are simply gay and just in denial. Some people really are just attracted to both sexes, plain and simple.
- My question wasn’t answered in this FAQ. What do I do now?
Well, my friend, there are many things you can do. First of all, you can try dropping by the GLB board for some quick advice, and they will try to help you as best they can. Or, you can try e-mailing the advisors for a more in depth answer. If neither works, you can always try searching on the internet. There are some good sites out there. Good luck on finding what you are looking for!
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