The Gay Student Center Web Community and Resource for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Questioning College Students and Teens

It should not have to be hard for anyone to say that they are homosexual. We should be able to say, "I like the same sex" as easily as we are able to say that we prefer dogs to cats, or green to blue. No one is scared of liking blue. No one hates themselves for wanting a puppy instead of a kitten. No one can get beat up for having a favorite color or animal. But we can for having a favorite sex, if society deems it the wrong one.

I was one of the lucky ones. My period ofdepression and denial that usually accompanies a homosexual or bisexual realization only lasted 8 months, and I came out clean and smiling on the other side, and for the most part I was accepted for what I was. My family was understanding and supportive, but at the same time not too nosy. My friends were very accepting and even curious as to what it was like. To this day the worst reaction I've gotten is, "Oh... well... that's sort of ___" (weird, freaky, gross, you name it). I haven't even gotten name-called or anything at school. Actually, the last I'd heard, most people at my school don't even believe that I am a lesbian, which I can understand. I don't act like a lesbian at all; in fact, I act more like a gay man than anything. I like fashion and art a lot; I write; I'm a deep thinker; I like philosophy. I just don't fit the sports-playing mullet-wearing macho-feminist stereotype. And when stereotypes are not followed, people just don't know how to comprehend it. I don't really mind; it's not like I like to broadcast my sexuality, anyway. As long as I'm not getting threatened or beat up or having my locker graffitied, I'm happy.

I think that deep down, My parents are sad about having lost their normal, heterosexual child who was going to walk down the aisle and spit out a couple grandchildren and overall just like a happy life without fear. And that deep down my friends are a tad uncomfy about sleeping over or having a picture taken with their arm around me and the like. But also, they accept me, and they love me, and they understand that to me it is just not that big of a deal. It's just another trait such as having a favorite color or animal, for example. That is more than most people can ask for.

Coming out has not been a fairytale, kids. It never is. But we live in a world where my story IS the fairytale of being homosexual. It should not have to be that way, and I am saddened that it is. Don't let this essay blind you to the dangers. You need to be prepared. You will meet homophobia, prejudice of every kind, harrassment of every kind. It will come from people who you thought loved you and from people who you thought didn't even know you. I will meet this, too, someday. We've all just got to be prepared for anything. I wish we didn't have to be. But I think that it is gradually getting better for us, and I plan to help to speed up that process in any way possible.

Know that nothing is as easily said as done. You can't just tell yourself, "ok, I'm gay." You can't just "come out." It's a long process, drawn out and denied more often than not, and no one can help you by telling you what you are or how to go about things. You're on your own to figure yourself out and to lead your own life. You have to make your own decisions and do your own thinking. I can't tell you not to let life get you down, because it will. I'm not going to sugarcoat it. Life is all about getting you down. No, if I were to give you one piece of advice, it would be this: don't let anyone choose your path for you. That is more unnatural than anyone makes homosexuality out to be.

Gina