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Gay/Les/Bi Advice
Ask our gay/les/bi advisors anything having to do with gay/les/bi issues.
Our Advisors
All advisors for Gay/Les/Bi Advice are Student Center members. They will answer your questions carefully and thoughtfully. We currently have 4 active advisors in this section. You can click on an advisor's name below to view his/her profile, or click here to Ask our Advisors!
Read Advice
Read the most recently answered questions below, or click here to read older advice. Before you ask a question, read through some of the older advice - your question might have already been answered!
| Topic: |
General |
| Date: |
March 01, 2010 |
| hardproblem asks: |
Ok, I am new to this site. I am new to telling people and expressing my feelings. I am not one to usually fall to options such as these for advice and things, but I need someone, anyone that is totally outside of my situation. I am a boy,17 and am a junior. We will just say I am bi right now.
Last July I got involved sexually with a boy, his name is Jeff. Jeff and I have been in a on/off relationship since last July. We are both not out. Jeff and I dated for a week back in July, and this is when we had our first sexual experiences with each other. I have a fatal attraction to Jeff that he does not share for me. Right now I have a girlfriend who I have had for a month, but I have not been able to stop thinking about Jeff. He also has a girlfriend but he cheated on her with me for three months. A month ago, Jeff cut off all sexual relations with me.
I know that we both have girlfriends, but there is something about him that I cannot get out of my head. It is a feeling much like love. We make eye contact often and it feels so right. I am afraid I would cheat on my girlfriend for him. I am not sure if this is all pointing toward me being gay or what, but I just want to approach him about how I feel for him but I await certain rejection if I tell him how I feel. This is how it has been for the past 7 months, eh is so sensitive about these types of things that I could not truly tell him how I feel. I want to get over him, but part of me wants to stay attached to him. February was the first month since July that we had not had sex. It is killing me. I don't know what to do. |
| rickweber says: |
I think part of you is hopeful that somehow magically things will turn around: he'll feel the same way about you as you do about him, he'll leave his gf, and he'll be with you. However, you say that he does appear to like you as much as you like him, you both are cheating on your partners, and you worry that he'll reject you. Is that what love looks like for you? Don't you want a partner who likes you back and wants to be with you too? I would seriously think about that before pursuing this any further.
I also feel the need to mention your worry about cheating on your current partner. If you need to sort this out with him, don't put her through that. She deserves fairness and a partner who really wants to be with her too. She certainly doesn't deserve unfaithfulness. |
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| Topic: |
General |
| Date: |
February 12, 2010 |
| Wanderer asks: |
Ok. Im fairly new to this site but im been dieing to get some new advice on how to get this guy to admit something to me. Im 16 years old and currently in the 10th grade. Theres this guy i met in band my freshman year and i didnt think i was going to feel anything for him and i didnt my freshman year, but then come this year something happened. I dont know what but something just stuck out to me something i liked about him. I didnt want to admit it but i had to because i have never felt this way about a person before. Hes straight but my question is why does he look into my eyes like no one else. Why does he hug me like hes hugging a girl. Wrapping his arms my head like im his?? Why does he stand so close to me like you want to hold me.
He did this so much when he was in band with me and my friends. To him im straight but to my best friend that happens to be a girl im gay.
Recently like yesterday my best friend told him how i felt. He said he was ok with it and that was the end of the confirsation. i didnt get it. why didnt he say antyhhing else. I dont know but i need to know the trueth about him about him but i dont know how i could talk to him now after he knows how i feel. I know all i have to do is talk to him but how could i when im so shy...
I just want to know what he realy thinks?? Can you help.. Thanks for the help! |
| rickweber says: |
I think you already know what to do, go talk to him! You're not going to find out how he feels until you do. And, if he has something to say about you're liking him, I think he's rather say it to you rather than your friend.
I do think it's important to consider that it's possible you may be construing things to your liking. When we're uncertain if someone likes us back, we look for any sign that could be a sign of reciprocal liking. Your interpretation of these "signs" may not be accurate. From your end, you might feel this deep, affectionate connection with him. However, that may not be his experience. To him, he's simply hugging an acquaintance.
It sounds like there is at least an opportunity for friendship with this person. Regardless of whether he likes you the same way you like him, nothing can develop if you don't talk to him! |
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| Topic: |
General |
| Date: |
February 08, 2010 |
| confuzzled asks: |
hey im 14 and ive kissed a friend of the same sex a few years back.she said it was a sign of friendship but it felt like much more.we kissed multiple times,she wanted to and im just wondering can kissing the same sex count as your first kiss?because i thought u had to kiss a member of the opposite sex in order for it to be a first kiss.so would that count as my first kiss? |
| axedmoon says: |
It can count as your first kiss. If it matters to you, and it was a real kiss to you, then it was your first kiss. :) |
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